“I think you have an eating disorder,” Chrissy said. I was in college and desperate to lose weight. I had invited several friends over for lunch. Chrissy and I were standing in my kitchen by my fridge. I had carefully taped swimsuit models from a J Crew catalogue on my refrigerator door. I had put them there to remind myself why I was dieting. It was a motivational strategy. I figured if I saw the beautiful women every time I went to the fridge, I’d eat less. I wanted to be skinny so I could have women like that.
“Nah, it’s just motivational,” I said. Besides, guys can’t have eating disorders.
I was wrong, very wrong. Guys can have eating disorders, and in hindsight I definitely had one.
I assumed the only way a beautiful woman would be interested in me was if I was thin, and the only way I would be thin was if I starved myself. I skipped meals, I drank SlimFast, I ate nothing but raw vegetables, and I hated it. I hated my body, and myself.
I think we’ve all been there. Trying to change ourselves, because we think we have to, so that other people will love, or approve of us.
The only person’s approval you need is your own. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s true. The only reason to lose weight is because you want to.
Are you reading this because you want to change? Or are you reading this because you think other people want you to change?
Think about these questions for a minute. It’s as important to know why you are trying to lose weight, as how to do it. In my experience, it makes all the difference between success and failure.
One of my favorite lines from Shakespeare is this: Above all: to thine own self be true. I thought I understood this when I read Hamlet in high school, but like how I thought I understood eating disorders, I was wrong.
Know thyself isn’t just a Shakespearian idea, it may be a universal truth. It was written above the entrance to the oracle of Delphi. It’s the key to any change you hope to make.
So, how did you answer the questions. Are you wanting to change because you want to change? If you know the answer is yes, then you are ready.
You need to understand change happens slowly. If you are extremely over weight, morbidly obese like I was, there isn’t a quick fix. You didn’t become morbidly obese over night. It took a long time, maybe months or maybe years. You can’t undo it quickly, and you don’t want to.
Quick fixes may seem great at the time. Using just about any fad diet you can lose weight. Pushing yourself on crazy workouts you can lose weight. But in both those cases most people can’t keep the weight off. Most people eventually gain all the quick-weight-loss weight back and more. Why?
It’s simple: if you restrict yourself, cut calories, or push your body in extreme ways, eventually you quit. If all you do is look at your body as a machine and do simple calorie in and calorie out math you will lose weight, but you miss the biggest part of the equation. That part is you.
Your body isn’t simply a machine that you can tune up by cutting calories or massively working out. Your body is part of you. There is a connection between your body and your mind. Your thoughts, and what you focus on, shape your body as much as any diet or workout ever has.
Don’t misunderstand me: what you eat and how you exercise affect your body, but what you think affects it even more. You need to believe a few things about yourself to be successful in changing your body. You won’t believe them at first. If you believed them already, you wouldn’t be reading this. With a little bit of effort, you will believe them.
You can change your habits.
You can change your body.
Eating healthy is easy.
Exercise is easy.
You can do this.
I know they seem simple, but you’ll surprise yourself at how powerful they are. I know I did.